Taste the Rainbow?
by sgdfs
Summary: Dende finally gives the people of Earth what they've been asking him for, but something goes terribly wrong in this humor fic that may cost Dende his job.


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Taste the Rainbow?

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by: Glass Angel

Dende wrung his hands nervously as he waited in the comfy red-cushioned chair on his lookout as teenage Gohan paced back and forth.

"When is he coming again?" Gohan queried, looking up at the Namekkian.

"Kaioshin should be arriving fairly soon," he answered, not looking up from the floor. "I can't believe he's the one coming."

"Could what you did require Kaioshin to talk to you?" Gohan halted.

"Gohan!" Dende cried, covering his head with his clawed hands. "I destroyed all life forms on Earth by making it rain Skittles!"

Gohan blinked. "Well, yeah, that is pretty bad."

"See what I mean? I don't know what to do!" Dende gazed up at Gohan in despair. "And he'll be here any—"

"Moment?"

Gohan and Dende looked up and spied the purple-skinned, white mohawk-sporting leader of the universe.

"Sir!" Dende immediately got to his feet and bowed deeply. He grabbed Gohan's wrist and dragged him down to a bowing position as well.

"Rise," said Kaioshin sternly. Dende and Gohan straightened up. "Dende, you do realize just exactly what you've done, correct?"

"Sir, I greatly apologize, but please—" Dende blinked as he noticed another person standing behind Kaioshin. "Who is that, sir?"

Kaioshin stepped aside, revealing a white-haired young man wearing an equally white uniform with a small ivory cross attached to his belt.

"This is my head advisor and exorcist, Cross," Kaioshin answered. "I figured I would need him to purge you."

"Purge me, sir??" Dende stared.

"Yes," stated Kaioshin. "Only a possessed Guardian would be evil enough to destroy all of the inhabitants of the planet he was supposed to protect with bite-sized candies colored in various shades of the rainbow." He turned to his advisor. "Cross?"

"Wait sir!" Dende pleaded. "Let me explain! Please!"

Kaioshin eyed the desperate Guardian. "Well . . . I suppose. But you still won't escape your punishment for betraying your duty as Guardian of the Earth."

"All right," Dende sighed. "I'll do my best. It went like this . . ."

*

"There's another one." Dende tossed a letter aside. "Where did the residents of Earth get my address?"

"Who knows." Piccolo eyed a huge pile of letters. "But ever since they found out about you, they've been asking for a rather strange request."

Dende nodded, then turned to him. "Piccolo?"

"What?" Piccolo looked up.

". . .what are Skittles?"

Piccolo blinked. "I've no idea."

Dende frowned. "The people of Earth are asking me to make it rain Skittles, but I don't know what they are."

"Maybe Gohan knows," Piccolo suggested. He stood up. "I'll go get him."

"Thanks." Dende returned to the letters as Piccolo flew off of the lookout. He soon returned with the teenaged Saiyan.

"So, what do you need to know?" Gohan asked.

"Could you please tell me what Skittles are?" Dende questioned.

"Skittles?" Gohan smiled. "Those are little candy-coated . . . uh . . ." He blinked. "Well, they're little candies. Even I don't know what that stuff inside is. How come you wanted to know that?"

"The residents of Earth somehow obtained my address," Dende sighed, "and they keep sending me letters asking if I would make it rain Skittles."

"Hey, that would be pretty cool." Gohan grinned. "I've seen those commercials before."

"Are you sure about this?" Piccolo eyed the young Guardian.

"They're just little candies, Piccolo," Dende replied. "I don't see much harm in it. And it would make the people happy as well."

Piccolo stood up. "Do what you want, but don't blame me when something goes wrong." He walked away.

"Well, let's get this started, shall we?" Dende walked over to the edge of the lookout and held out his arms. A brilliant light flashed, and a rainbow of colors spread through each cloud floating above the Earth.

Gohan stared up at the sky. "Hm, colorful." A small object hit him on the head. "Huh?" He caught it before it hit the ground and examined it. "It's a Skittle!" he cried and popped it into his mouth.

"It worked." Dende smiled. "I've given the residents of Earth a great gift."

Gohan nodded, chewing. He swallowed the little candy and caught another. "Let's see how everyone will react."

They both walked eagerly over to the side of the lookout and gazed down at the world.

"They love it!" Gohan cried, smiling. "Look at everybody trying to catch them! It's just like the commercial!"

"Now people will never run out of Skittles," Dende said happily. "I've done what no other Guardian has been able to do."

"Even the birds like them," Gohan pointed out. "Look at how they're . . . attacking the people who are . . . covered in them . . ."

Dende's smile faded slightly. "Maybe that's just happening there."

"Nope." Gohan pointed westward. "I see a whole flock of 'em attacking that guy. Wait." He leaned over. "Is that Kuririn they're attacking?"

"There's someone down there who looks like he's trying to say something to us," Dende said quickly, averting Gohan's eyes from the unlucky comrade. "Maybe he's trying to thank me."

"It looks like Vegeta," Gohan replied, "and it seems like he's yelling. Wait, a Skittle just fell into his mouth" He blinked. "Now he's got a strange expression on his face, and he's clutching his throat. Wait, he's on the ground, and he's not moving." Gohan strained his eyes. "He looks quite blue."

"This is horrible!" Dende cried. "The amount of dead bird carcasses has just blocked traffic, and there are wrecks everywhere!"

"There goes the electricity," Gohan pointed out. "A bunch of cars just hit the main power plant."

"I must stop this!" Dende raised his arms once more.

"There are a ton of people choking to death from trying to catch the Skittles in their mouths," Gohan informed, still leaning over the edge of the lookout.

Dende glared over his shoulder at the intrigued saiyan. "This is no time to be curious! We need to stop this before even _more _rain down!" He blinked as more Skittles began to pour out of the multi-colored clouds. "Oh, God! I just increased it!!"

"I can't see the streets anymore," Gohan said, "or the people, for that matter. I guess they're all underneath the Skittles."

Piccolo walked over to them. "I guess now you understand what I mean."

Dende stared up at him. "I didn't know it would get this serious!"

Piccolo turned to the Earth. "You'd better stop those Skittles. They're falling so fast now that people are getting seriously injured purely from impact."

"If they even feel them by now," Gohan pointed out. "Nearly everything's been buried. It's like a multi-colored blanket."

"Stop!!" Dende cried, raising his arms. The Skittles slowed to a drizzle, then halted completely. The clouds' rainbowed coating melted away, revealing their true grayed complexion.

All three of them stared out at the Skittle-covered Earth in silence.

"I figure I don't need to say 'I told you so' this time." Piccolo turned and walked off. "I'm going to see if I can locate anyone we know. Hopefully they're not dead right now."

Gohan and Dende remained where they were.

"So," Gohan looked down at the planet, "who's hungry?"

*

"And that's what happened," Dende finished, lowering his head.

Kaioshin frowned. "So you're telling me that this—" he swept his hand out behind him— "was just an _accident_?" 

He blinked as the young Namekkian clutched his leg on the ground. "_Please_ believe me, sir!" Dende cried from the floor. "I didn't know this would happen! Don't turn me into a green goo stain on the gound!"

Kaioshin turned to his assistant. "Cross?"

Cross nodded and walked over to the helpless Guardian. He pulled out the little white cross and held it above Dende's head. Dende squeezed his eyes shut.

"Wait!"

Cross looked up at Gohan. "What?"

"Listen to me, Kaioshin," Gohan said, walking over to him. "Dende just did a great thing for you."

"What do you mean?" Kaioshin questioned, eyeing the young Saiyan. "How could destroying an entire race of people be a great thing?"

"Well, the 'destroying an entire race of people' thing wasn't what I really had in mind," Gohan replied, "but now you have a whole planet full of Skittles. Have you ever tried one before?"

Kaioshin blinked. "No," he replied, gazing down at the multi-colored blanket of candies on the Earth. He looked back at Gohan. "Get me some."

Gohan nodded and flew down to Earth. He soon returned with a handful of Skittles. "Here," he said, handing them to Kaioshin.

The purple-skinned ruler accepted the Skittles and ate one, chewing with an unsure look on his face. He suddenly brightened, and then popped another into his mouth.

Gohan smiled. "So you like them?"

"These are fantastic!" Kaioshin stared at the Skittles in his hand. "Even better than the ambrosia we have in Heaven! How did I not know about this?"

"Well, there's a lot about Earth you don't know, but that's beside the point." Gohan turned to Dende. "Now that Dende's supplied you with a planet full of 'em, don't you think you should let him go?"

Kaioshin ate a few more of the mini candies, then looked down at the Guardian who still clung to his leg. "Well," he swallowed. "I suppose I can let you off the hook this time. But only because of these." He held the Skittles out for emphasis, then walked over to Cross. "We'll be off to Heaven now, but I will send some people to deliver the Skittles to me. You might want to see if any of your friends are still alive under them."

Dende stared up at him, then fell over with relief.

Gohan smiled. "See you later."

Kaioshin nodded, and he and his attendant faded away.

Gohan turned to Dende. "Well, that's over."

"I still feel terrible, though," Dende muttered into the floor. "I killed all those people. . ."

"Think of it this way," Gohan reassured him, "you didn't kill the people of Earth; the _Skittles_ did. You didn't make them fall from the sky with the pure intent to kill everyone. Let's go find Piccolo, okay?"

"All right." Dende pulled himself up and followed Gohan away from the edge of the lookout. As he walked, he looked up at the sky and spied a faint rainbow cutting through the blue sky. He instantly shivered.

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I'll never be able to look at a rainbow the same way again. . .

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The End.


End file.
